No make-up Fridays

September 8, 2011 § 19 Comments

On Friday mornings, I meet with my friend PZ for coffee at a local cafe. 
We get large coffees and finesse ’em nice with milk, sugar, cinnamon, shots of the various coffees in the huge carafes – whatever.

And we sit, outdoors whenever possible and in spite of the leaf blower guy who was so moved to have the parking lot spotless at 7:15 in the morning. Really?

We sit and we talk.
We don’t gab; we don’t gossip.
We talk.

And last week, when we had some serious stuff to share, we ended up laughing, out loud.
Right after we had shed some tears, the kind that require a tissue.
And THAT, my friends, is what made us laugh!!!!

OK, we don’t sit in public and cry like crazy suburban characters in a Franzen story.
But we do share stories and anecdotes about people we care about and love and how things are going, and often, the lives we see are so touching that we tear up.
Certain things, certain happenings and surely things related to our kids and dogs can have our eyes spilling quietly over.
We share a certain etiquette in the face of this  “welling up.” It’s ok to dab or swipe at teary eyes; neither of us comments on it to the other. It’s understood that it’s ok, that it, well, it happens.

So last week, there were discussions on the Kids, and how they’re doing and also discussion on the perserverance of human kind and then I mentioned that our ancient beagle Huck had died.
And that did it.
We went immediately from welling up to those silent splashy tears.
PZ also had recently lost a beloved dog.

And so it’s been decided in an offhand manner that perhaps no makeup should be worn on Friday mornings. 
Because Maybelline and Mary Kay can tell me ’til they’re blue in the face that their mascara is waterproof, like their foundation and blush, etc., but I can assure you – no, it is not.

Tomorrow’s Friday.
Coffee with PZ.
I will show up (eventually) at work and surely someone will remark that I look tired (yeah, it happens when I skip the maquillage.)
That’s ok.
I will have kicked off the day with a fearless BFF who is not afraid to cry or laugh. Out loud.

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§ 19 Responses to No make-up Fridays

  • shoreacres says:

    Oh dear, oh dear – and now you have me crying with my first cup of coffee. I’m so sorry about Huck. What a huge hole they leave in our lives when they’re gone. Maybe, just maybe, Huck and Happy are out together this morning, hunting fire hydrants. 😉

    Good thing I don’t wear mascara, for sure.

  • litlove says:

    What a wonderful friendship that is. Someone who’ll laugh and cry with you – what more do any of us want in the way of empathy?

  • Heather says:

    Gollum didn’t think you looked tired. Gollum thought you looked Great!

    • oh says:

      Linda – What a perfect idea – Happy and Huck! Indeed I hope they’re both galumphing about, wagging wielding their beagle charm!

      LL – Oh how true – the specialness of such a friend…I was thinking of writing a postscript to say we’re not as snetimental or corny as I might have made us sound…but you’re right, it is a wonderful friendship!

      H – omg, that Gollum! Geez, why does it always make me laugh? I am inspired, btw, to find something “decent” to forward for your workshop.

  • Dale says:


    Thanks for sharing another day. I enjoy keeping up with my friend from the other side of the prairie.


  • jeanie says:

    Oh, Di, I am so deeply, deeply sorry. I know that hole in your heart — we’ve both been there before; I will be again. And it is so deep, sometimes so very dark and the house seems so empty… my heart simply aches for you. I can say from what you’ve said and written that I know Huck had a wonderful life with loving peeps to care for him — and I know he took care of you, too. I send you many hugs on such a sad loss.

    I am so very glad that you have a friend with whom you can talk face-to-face and share thoughts like this. That part, at least, sounds as good as it can be. I have this wonderful vision of two women with no make-up, caffeining up and sharing their deepest. You can’t beat that, can you?

  • Bella Rum says:

    It’s true, there’s nothing like a good friend you can cry and laugh with. The cry cleanses and the laugh fills us up. When my daughter-in-law wrote me the saddest email about how lonely she feels in their new city, I told her I wished I could package up a good girlfriend and send her to her. All it takes is one if it’s the right one.

    I’m so sorry about Huck. Oh gosh, I love that name. It’s very difficult to get over the loss of a pet. I couldn’t believe how long it was before I could hear Gypsy’s name without feeling sorrow.

    It’s wonderful that you have a buddy you can let loose with. They’re irreplaceable.

  • Typehype says:

    I’m very sorry to hear about the death of your dog, Huck. It’s so sad losing a pet. I still tear up when I think of Roxy and Quark, my long lost dogs. It’s not easy to get over. The best antidote is a good friend with whom you can commiserate, laugh and cry and you are blessed to have your PZ. Friends like that you can count on one hand.

  • Corri says:

    Laughing and crying with a friend: what else do you want from life? I envy the coffee and the time though, both sound sumptuous. No kidding, what a lovely way to spend a Friday morning.

  • Care says:

    Love the description ‘silent splashy tears’. {{{HUGS}}}
    Your post is lovely and so are the comments here and it reminds me how truly inspiring these internet connections can be.

    • oh says:

      Hey, Dale – well, I’d better get busy doing some writing! been working long on projects…time to sit longer here at my own keyboard. Must also check in on Jane’s pictures on Flickr.

      Jeanie- I have found tons of pictures so I’m creating the Little Book of Huck. Kinda therpeutic. And also getting all kinds of other pictures in order! Ah, the silver lining, eh? Also, having such kind and wonderful friends here.

      Dear BR, it’s a relief that several of you understand the pet thing and it’s so good to hear from you. I haven’t allowed myself to go to the rescue shelter to just “look” at another dog, cuz I know there’s no such thing as just looking! might come home with 3 or 4….maybe for Christmas?

      Type- thanks for your note. Geez, I love your dogs’ names. Gotta remember “Quark.” excellent. So, I literally do not spend time alone in the house yet. Wait for R to get home or try to arrive at the same time!
      Can we go petless? Hmmmm….dunno. Stay tuned…

      • oh says:

        Corri – Nothing like starting the day with a great morning! I’ve only now told PZ about my blog. She’s curious and promises to read it.

        Care – You’re so right about comments from bloggies – some of the most wonderful friends-I’ve never-met that a person is fortunate to have! Always good to hear from you…hope you’re keeping the East Coast under control! And I’m headed to an orchard this weekend for some apples for some…pie-making! Will save a piece for you!

  • Becca says:

    I am so sorry about Huck. There is nothing like the love of animals – it’s different than the love we feel for our human children, but it has an astonishingly strong dimension all its own. Their loss leaves a huge hole your heart and your family.

    The friend thing…you described perfectly my relationship with a dear friend who moved to China five months ago. It’s amazing how much I miss her. But we Skype nearly every day, and carry on our laugh/cry fest over the internet!

    • oh says:

      thanks, Becca. You have worded it so perfectly, about the love for our children and our love for our pets, “an astonishingly strong dimension all its own.”

      So glad you’re Skyping with your dear friend.
      Funny the things we can do to shrink distance, funny-wonderful, that is!

  • Carrie says:

    Oh no! I’m so sorry about your Huck. There’s not much more to be said about that…

    Thanks for sharing this story of having a real conversation with someone who knows your insides… It’s always a deep, calming joy to be with someone like that. Revel in each moment you have with her….

  • munchow says:

    The only true friendship is the one in which everything can be shared. It’s rare, but it’s wonderful. Crying and laughing together is the bond. Thanks for sharing this moment and these thoughts. Sorry about Huck, but I am sure he will still be there in your heart. Nothing really lasts forever, but those beautiful moments we have shared.

  • oh says:

    Carrie – I’m working on a little book of Huck pictures. And know that you could make a GREAT one (having seen some of your work in prior posts!) Will see how this comes out. And your sooo right about reveling a friend like PZ. It’s a blessing.

    Munchow – Thanks for your awesome comments. Yup, ole Huck is truly in our hearts (and patterns – still surprised to come home to no Huck). We’ll soon be laughing about things he used to do. Now, to get this house a little noisier again!

  • ds says:

    That’s what makes a BFF truly a BFF. I am so sorry for the loss of Huck.

  • Kathleen says:

    Wonderful anecdote about you and your friend. It is hard to find a good friend who can be there for you when you have stories (good and bad) to share. Yay for no make-up Fridays!

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